Sticks and Stones...

I had a friend confide in me an acquaintance's opinion on me.  I already knew this person wasn't fond of me so I was prepared for the worst.  I wasn't, however, prepared for the exact adjective that was used.  What word describes the opinion this person has of me?  "Disgusting"

What the fuck!?  Of all the fucking words in the world that's the operative word?  I feel like this revelation caused me to go through the 5 stages of grief.

1.  Denial - Surely he wasn't talking about me?  I've been nothing but kind and courteous to this prick!  There must be some mistake.  Maybe it's a misunderstanding.

2.  Anger - Fuck that hoe!  I was prepared to walk over to his place, knock on the door and read that heifer for filth.  I was channeling my inner New York and was ready for it to go down.  Probably kinda like this:

Then I decided that would be overkill but I would confront him the next time I saw him.  Which considering how infrequent that was would probably never happen.

3.  Bargaining - Ok, I skipped this one.  What was I going to do?  Beg and plead my case?  Fuck that.  Next!

4.  Depression - I mulled it over for a day.  That someone thought of me that way ate at my soul.  It wasn't racing in my mind but it was in the background festering.

5.  Acceptance - Ultimately I came to the conclusion that it didn't matter before I found out and it didn't matter after.  His opinion didn't negate me as a person; it didn't make me a lesser person.  He was entitled to his opinion and in all likelihood I had probably done something to contribute to it.  Maybe I was too lowbrow?  Maybe I was too crass in my sense of humor?  Maybe he found out that I thought he was a controlling cold asshole and marveled at how he maintained a relationship with someone diametrically opposed in every possible way.  (Yeah, that was a read.)

People are going to have their opinion of you both good and bad.  You have to decide whether that's going to effect you or not.  You have to be secure in who you are to not let the praise bring you up or the scorn bring you down.

As Ru's Mama says, "If they ain't paying your bills, pay them bitches no mind."

I'm back, bitches!  So this is, what, my third attempt at posting to this regularly?  Initially I had some misguided attempt to log a sanitized version of my life.  Let's be real deal Holyfield:  that was never interesting and I'm not interested in documenting the more interesting, salacious aspects of my life.  Mostly because I’m not going to put myself out there like that.  Regardless of whether it's your intention or not, everyone is trying to project an image of themselves to the public and I'm no different.

Now that that's out of the way  I have been inspired by my cousin Melissa's food blog and Chelsea Hander's Netflix docuseries to attempt to produce something of some sort of value which I have always wanted to do.  By both its become rather evident that to really do something worthwhile I'll have to plan out my posts.  I've been brainstorming and have come up with a few ideas that I think will be interesting from a personal and public perspective.  This way I can add my perspective to particular topics but also pepper those with posts of events in my life that I feel would be fun to document.  Life has been particularly busy so there are a few things coming up that I think will help to break up the musings.

I'm going to TRY to leave out the rants and the opinions of those around me and try to focus on my own thoughts and ideas, though.  For that bullshit you can always check in on my Facebook or Twitter feeds ;)